Sunday, November 2, 2008

Half of a sestina...

This should have three more stanzas, but I'm stuck and I'm getting the feeling that this was way to rigid of a form for me to try at the moment since structured poetry is very much not my thing. So here is half of a sestina, or all of a nothing, to the crow that always squawks at me on the way to work and to the resident poet laureate of the cup, our friend Crow.



You lift your coarse voice from the sky above
and throw yourself down on silent charred wings.
Wind streams by me, the result of your fall,
turning my hair to feathers that chase you.
I am the colored shadow of your black;
gliding, walking, we both travel this road.

Wind rushing by like a great storm of wings,
Air becomes feathers all grasping at you.
From the wire you watch this empty road
As indistinct voices echo stark black,
Murderous friends awaiting your fall;
The moon also watching, soft light above.

Will you be here when warm days turn to fall
Asleep on a wire, shadow cross the road?
I will still be walking, watching for you
Searching the shadows as clouds boil above
We’ll be dreaming of a sky filled with wings
Your wings above me, the sky also black.

4 comments:

defmoose said...

Is that a picture that you took of the crow that squawks at you or did that one just fit? And since I don't know what a Sestina is... uhm... You win a prize?

Black Crow said...

sestina, six, six line stanzas, followed by a tercet (3 lines), for a total of 39 lines. Keep trying, it could flush out, or forget the sestina, rules are meant to be broken! As for the poem, I love it, but I cant critique it just yet (not that you wanted me to), Im too close to the subject, I just love it!, but if I were to analyze with an academic eye I may be able to give more proper feedback, however I have so much homework to do right now and a work out session with Gary in an hour, I just wanted to "quickly" say I appreciate the nod, and I cant help but feel that if one crow is often near you than he must be in some way trying to tell you something, maybe even about me. I have been thinking a lot lately about bridging the gap between us all, and Ive been pondering more and more about how to achieve this without video games, but more on this later, you are in my mind and heart and your reflection can be seen in the black of my feathers.

Cyrusse said...

Interesting idea, although I doubt you have time: want to take a shot at 3 stanzas from the crow's point of view? I may make an attempt at it, but I don't really have any ideas at the moment. Hmmm... poo. It will be harder to do properly because of what is left of end word ordering.

Black Crow said...

I was starting to think youd never ask.....! just give me a few hours.