Friday, March 27, 2009

I am the wrist

You are the razor blade
I am the wrist
You are the kiss from the lips of Judas
I am the prayer that God must ignore
You are forever but
I still need more
Poured by at
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5 comments:

defmoose said...

so how i see this is the narrator is bleeding/being drained and that it's necessary after a fashion. So the eternal pain is kind of like the yang to the ying of love? God? Both? Striking a balance of some kind like the paired up lines.

something totally random that I noticed is that if you look at the shape the six lines makes, sideways, it looks like a hand giving the finger. Coincidence? I think not! This poem is your giving the finger to the universe!

March 29, 2009 at 2:07 AM
Black Crow said...

wow, Ron, dude, Im proud of you man! You are getting really good at analyzing poetry! This poem is so about the Universe and God. I thought about changing the title to Life. What do you think? Its not the universe, its more so life itself that the voice of this poem is frustrated with, he needs life, but its pain, ya know "the razor blade", and the life is forever, but he still needs more. So it is a big F U to the Universe/Life in that regard. No I did not intend to create a middle finger, but I agree with you 100%, it was not accidental either. Nice work Ron, you really get my poems these days, it makes me happy that I put so much time into the themes when someone can extract it out of the work. Anyways, what do you think of the title, Life?

March 29, 2009 at 8:57 PM
Black Crow said...

p.s. cant wait till you come down to visit! I get excited every time I think about it.

March 29, 2009 at 8:58 PM
defmoose said...

I'm totally here at your house! =D

April 6, 2009 at 2:08 PM
defmoose said...

oh yeah, i think that Life as a title could be good, but since it looks like a hand i think that I am the wrist could be modified and be just as good if not better.

April 6, 2009 at 2:11 PM

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