Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Real talk

My Lord, My God, youve done so well
This world of ours is perfect
Your love for us no words can tell
So much beyond the surface
No way that I could ever fail
And all the pain was worth it
For on this day my heart does sail
I feel that I deserve this
So in His light I always dwell
Forever in your service



this poem used to be a sip in case it looks familiar. After consideration Ive decided that this is by far my favorite poem that I have written in months, its the most geniune, and its inspiration the purest Ive ever had, so I felt it warranted its own post, sorry to dominate the cup but uhmmm, start posting if you dont like it!
Hope everyone is having a great morning. Regardless if your aware of it or not, it is great, so smile one time why dontcha?
Poured by at
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3 comments:

Cyrusse said...

Aaaah! Black Crow is taking over the blog! It's like an amoeba engulfing us in poetry and rants... hmm.. guess that's not so bad. At least someone is posting something. It's been a little dead in the blogiverse.

I really liked this one (I did hunt in down in the comments after you mentioned it was there). It's very uplifting and has a good flow to it. I'm also glad that Yosemite seems to have inspired you to write so much (the other two and rants and emails, etc), even if you weren't feeling so hot while you were there. I may be able to provide better feedback on the poetry in a bit, if some of my braincells ever grown back in. They're a tad frazzled at the moment.

August 20, 2008 at 10:34 AM
Lorigga said...

BWAIINNSS!!!!

Good poem though, I don't think the zombie lord likes it all too much. Shhh...they're watching....

August 20, 2008 at 10:54 AM
Black Crow said...

Zombie lord? Anyways, Ive been rereading this poem a lot lately. I am very pleased! But Im not sure why. I guess the flow is pleasantly rhythmic for a change, with less awkward phrasing for once, but Im not sure if thats why I like it so much. Perhaps its the content, how positive it is for a change, it makes me happy that this one wasnt contrived or forced, this IS me for real, maybe thats why I like it so much, because I read this poem and I feel it can reflect and represent me as a man, as a child of light, but other poems Ive written, even poems about my relationship with God, seem more like ideas, or philosophies, that I temporarily hold, the ideas shift, the moment yields to another, and the poem no longer fits my perception of "the truth". I still like those pieces for what they aim to do, but this simple piece, inspired by a child, I wrote it while watching Makayla play, I think will always represent me, no matter how my ideology continues to build, this idea of service to others will always be a large part of my heart and soul, if not the very foundation for my entire being. So for once, I will pat myself on the back, I finally wrote a poem to stand the test of time, I guess Yosemite really helped me to get some things to the forefront of my psyche so that I could move forward and beyond. You know, I did pray for help with my life, perhaps that was the mountains way of helping, by driving me insane, hehe, so that I could pick up the pieces again, and realize, I am far from complete, but my goal of complete submersion into Oneness with the Infinite is much closer to me than it has ever been in my entire existence! Exciting times. I can only hope that I can continue to write poems like this one, with honesty, integrity, and cadence. Im not sure where the rhyme scheme came on this one, as usual, it just sort of popped into my mind at the time, I really was thinking "My Lord, My God, youve done so well" when I decided to write the poem. Perhaps thats why the piece is so fluid. I love the movement, I dont get stuck in this piece at all, I start reading and my eyes just dont stop until the last word. Thats what I want to achieve in all my poetry, man Im so far from where I need to be if I want to effect change with literature, but Im exactly where I need to be to fix that. Thanks for humoring me with your comments and attention, I do not deserve your time, but I really appreciate your help in my evolution as a writer.

August 21, 2008 at 9:04 AM

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