Monday, February 2, 2009

The new me is becoming

The new me is becoming

Old fast.
Like a cherry car that depreciates
In value (is fucked)
The minute it’s driven off the lot.

I’m a collector
Of karmaflies and
Every time (I feel)
I have enough
I see in the distance two more fluttering
About elusively as if to tantalize
My desire.
I must have them!

So I enter the night with a dream
Catcher in hand,
Searching and seeking for
Something(someone?) that I know
Is waiting
Just for me.

In the black sky
I am so familiar with
Their glow can be seen
Throughout eternity.
They are lighthouses guiding blind ships
Towards an infinite shore
Of knowledge (home).

I’m a collector
But every time I think I have enough
I see in the distance two more fluttering
About elusively as if to tantalize
(Haven’t I been here before?)
This is becoming

Old fast.
Must keep moving forward
Stand still long enough and they will ask for your name.
Once labeled
You cant be you anymore.
In an instant you’re a statue, fixed solid in one frame of time
That never fully represented your being.
We are so much more than a name
Remember(what was I talking about again?)

Before this dream began (I was seeking for...)
I’m a collector.

3 comments:

Cyrusse said...

This is very cool and reminds me of a Nails song or two. I really like "karmaflies." I've been meaning to tell you how much I've liked the last few poems you've posted, but I've been in a very very bad place with writing lately and seeing how good your stuff has gotten made me feel too lame to figure out how to properly address your work. I'm still in that very very bad place, but I'm trying to get out of it. Is this for your poetry class or are you just trying free verse on your own now? I think this one in particular still has a nice beat and flow to it even though it doesn't have a fixed rhyme or meter. If you're going to need revisions for a class, there are a few tweaks I would recommend (I can email you a marked up version if you want it), but overall, I think this piece is great; it's concise and understandable but still lyrical.

defmoose said...

Finally read this piece and I'm wondering why I hadn't read it sooner. Karmaflies i think should be a word put into regular english usage and then translated to other forms of communication.

This is my new favorite Steve poem. it drew me in pretty strongly on the journey collecting karmaflies from past lives in darkness. I have zero things to say regarding making changes. Whatever you do, don't change this version if you update it or I will cry sad tears.

Black Crow said...

haha, your both far too kind. This poem was not written for class, but I may turn it later as our one and only "free" exercise. Please feel free to email me drafts with comments on them Cy. Id appreciate the help, dont worry Moose, this version will exist as is, for all space and time.