Oh hopeless hours!
Are they not still ours?
To hold and embrace
For all time (and space)
To store in our hearts
Like Night keeps the stars
So she won’t forget
The tears that she wept
While cruel Day just slept
Oh hopeless Day, with empty skies!
Your sun has been feeding us lies
With promises of love and peace
That it does not intend to keep
Happiness it can deliver
With a shot from cupid’s quiver
But the drugs effect does fade
Than we seek out Nights cool shade
In the dark the dream can end
Why did we try to pretend?
Cold lonely moon doth understand
The feeling held in empty hands
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4 comments:
this is my nod to Poe, and I also just think this way sometimes, though I still have hope, this poem is about not having it, and still being just fine.
funny because in my revision I some how managed to make it even more Poe. Go back and read some Poe and you can say a major correlation with the imagery and themes. Of course though, Im not genius like Poe, and I realize, when I do eventually make a true poem worthy of comparison to Poe, it will be in a completely different direction than what his poetry was, because that time is gone.
man you gotta quit cutting out your old versions! i read the original, but now i don't remember what it was so i can't compare and contrast. you could just strike out the old parts (you know the line through the text thing). or make new posts for new versions like you did with ups and downs. don't nerf my feedback, it makes god kill kittens! and we love kittens!
"Cold lonely moon doth understand
The feeling held in empty hands"
was this in the original? the imagery is awesome, the wording is sick. my fav part for sure. what was your reason for using "doth" instead of something more contemporary?
well I could post the original back up, it exists somewhere, and yes the image of the empty hands was the only 2 lines that I chose to keep from the original second stanza. I thought about just posting it as a new post, like I did with Many Ups, but I so much disliked my original I just didnt want to see it anymore! hehe. Next time Ill leave it, for the sake of discussion. Tip well noted Moose.
As for the choice of doth, it was a very conscious decision of mine to include at least some vocabulary that Poe would have used in his day and age. I only managed to do it with the one word "doth" but I still like it, it is my ultimate nod at Poe. Hes been such an inspiration as of late, glorifying the moon over the Sun, thats all Poe, but I like how I created my own images and themes out of his work, I guess I was proud of the image I had created, and the concept, empty hands still have feeling, nothing is something as my professor would say, I just wanted to use the word within my own image as a way of giving Poe his due.
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