Monday, November 12, 2007

a memory

I wrote this poem a few months back when I was having flashbacks of the preceding summer of 06. I would relive some of those moments and something that fell out was this poem. Its dark, and its very raw, it desperately needs a new ending. However, I like what I was trying to convey in the poem, it is very much a story of a real day in my life that I never want to relive. I hope by posting it here I have some inspiration to touch it up because it had potential but I dropped it due to its heavy content. I never planned on sharing this with anyone due to its dark contents but I know everyone here can handle the imagery, its actually relatively tame compared to other poems I have, those are private....for now. It feels good to be able to even share this one. Im glad that Im at a point in my life where I can separate myself from my work, and my thoughts, they do not always portray where I am currently at, and this disclaimer applies not only to this off beat flow, but all my pieces. Thx for the consideration.

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I’m still the man lying in the street

Heart cold and hard like this pavement

That same heart only knows one beat

It’s the rhythm of the night enslavement

My worn out hoodie my only source of heat

At this hour cash is the only form of payment

As I sit here your words begin poisoning me

This section of town was not my first placement

Talking bout how I am no longer Steve

Bitch, Are you kidding? Your deranged kid

Got my chest all tight so I can barely breathe

If your mind is that soft better train it

Im struggling just to rise from underneath

Anyone who hates off me is entertainment

I sit here in the dark with my knife in its sheath

Considering where I should aim it.

This cold ass life makes it hard to believe

Even with clothes I am naked

His plan so elaborate I can barely conceive

Lying in this puddle I am shaking

Feels like these clouds will never leave

Sun never raises only races

I still remember what you said to me

My life so bleak I never could face it

I thought we wanted to be free

I know the safest way to get wasted

Thought you knew Id make you bleed

Thought you always wanted to taste it

Just a tiny prick and than you’ll see

After a few moments you start to feel sane again

Fix will be the only thing that you need

Then the night won’t be a stranger

So many sins my eyes have seen

And after all its always the same shit

I know this person is not me

To fly was my one true intent

I don’t know how long it has been

My love’s already completely spent

Not even my dreams give me peace

I can never rest until I begin to repent

2 comments:

Lorigga said...

What is it you don't like about the ending? Just curious, if there's something you think needs work then it would probably be helpful if we had an idea...

I like it, don't think it's too dark at all. The beauty of it stems from how well it reflects your mindset at such a challenging part of your life.

The frustration, the desperation, bleeds through the lines.

And yet, there's still a glimmer of hope. Perhaps my impressions are clouded by my knowledge that the whole time there was hope; thus, I'm able to recognize it.

Black Crow said...

Well as far as the message goes the ending is just fine. Its just the flow of the poem, I know I rushed the last few lines, they dont fit with the rest of me. I hope to find a way to convey the same meaning but changing the wording so that syntax matches the flow of the rest of the poem. They rhyme scheme is off as well. Not that I normally bind myself to any rhyme scheme but this poem has a definite progression and from the line "to fly was my one true intent" it just doesnt fit with the rest. Ill continue to work on it.