dellusional ranting

I wrote a lot of poetry back when I used drugs. All of it was shit. I went through it today just to see what I could salvage. I feel it does have a point, to remind me of where I never want to be mentally ever again! I refuse to allow myself to return to the emptiness that I see when I reread my old pieces. However, I found this in the midst of a bunch of shit. I wrote it while I was on drugs or coming off much more likely. I dont include its entirety. For me this is the entire thing. The rest of it was self-pity bullshit. This one portion I like, in the midst of distortion you can see me trying to get out of the darkness. Its not a great piece, I just like the random imagery, and how even now that I have clarity I still agree with much of its sentiment. I guess even in a haze of illusion one cant help but have moments of light that trickle through and grant temporary insight. I feel this is one of those moments.

Ya fuck it all

Once again me against the world ya know?

Well, fuck, Ill never have to push against the earth.

All the animals are my brothers, and the crows are my allies

The mountains are my uncles watching out for me from far away

Shining their strength and wisdom down upon me whenever I approach them

The moon is my friend, my partner in crime 30 days out of the month; she always gives me solace when I feel alone. Every time I fly I gaze up at the moon and I smile because I know that all my brothers before me have also gazed at that same moon. It’s a legacy.

The Sun is my father, the giver of all life and lessons, the fire that can never be extinguished

The earth is my grandmother, she nurtures me and feeds me her peace and silence when I need to reflect and become real.

The sky is my grandfather, in his realm is where I always try to dwell, even when I am not supposed to be flying, I still cheat and spread my wings to be with him.

He has eternity as his ally, because his realm is forever, it goes on past the heavens, and all the way to the edge of creation. He has all the answers because grandfather has always been. He stretches himself out, in all his blue glory, out all across the world so that all my allies can soar and kiss heaven every night. I join them from time to time and I caw, and caw, and caw, and caw, so that all of my relations will know that I love them, and thank them, and that I will never forget them because they loved me when no human could. When I couldn’t even love myself all my relations helped me to live a strong good life.